Sunday After Christmas Weigh In

I am so incredibly proud of myself. I went grocery shopping when I got to my Dad's house (since I am staying there through the holidays) and got some things to help me achieve my food goals. I did not make it to the gym this week, but my Dad have some gym equipment I used and I took my dog for walks. I think I did well this past week, even though Christmas got the best of me. But I am not hung up on my missteps now as I would have been before. I would have gave up and decided that this was too hard. Christmas is only one day and if I wanted a piece of chocolate then I was going to indulge. The next day I got back on the horse and started over. I weighed myself today in the middle of the day after breakfast no less and the scale still showed a loss. I weighed in at 287.3 which is a 1.9 pound loss since last Sunday at Fitness Ridge. Nutrition really does have a huge impact on weight loss. I am still focusing on my food choices. Limiting the table sugar, and white flour and not eating  simple carbohydrates or fruit after lunch time. It has been a struggle because my Dad's wife makes incredible food and I really have to watch my portion sizes. I just add extra vegetables at dinner if i need to or am feeling especially hungry. I have not consumed anything besides water, herbal tea, almond milk and eggnog (it is Christmas after all) to drink since I have been back. I have noticed my energy level skyrocket and I have been going to bed at a decent time and waking up earlier. I have been feeling amazing. I plan to take this week to keep focusing on my food since Spring Semester starts on January 13 and I need to be ready for that. Next week I will be adding in gym time while my son is at school and I plan to got 3-5 days a week. If I miss a day I will not beat myself up about it. I will just restart the next day. Life happens but I still got this!

Weigh in Sunday at Fitness Ridge

I'm so excited! I just can't hide it! I weighed in at 289.2!! I lost some this week and I am so proud of myself. I lost a total of 4 inches and 3.3 pounds. I know, I know, its not that big of a loss. A loss is still a loss nonetheless. I lost in inches, body fat percentage, and weight. I gained myself, that's the biggest gain of all. I am packing up my stuff and getting ready for the 4.5 hour drive back to the Salt Lake Valley. I am sad to leave, but remain determined and optimistic of the future. I am not the person I was when I arrived. I found myself. I found the person I was meant to be and I will change my life. I got this! Bring it on Christmas, I dare you!

My Last Full Day at the Biggest Loser Resort Fitness Ridge

This morning I woke up feeling bittersweet. It was my last full day here at Fitness Ridge. I was sad to leave while being excited to go spend Christmas with my son. Part of me wanted to stay because it would be easier to meet my fitness goals here then it would be at home, or so I thought. I met Sarah, a former contestant on the Biggest Loser at Fitness Ridge and she is just an amazing human being. She said something about motivation that really struck me as something I never thought of before. I don't remember exactly how she said it, but it was along the lines of motivation being great, but temporary. Determination is staying motivated even when times get hard. I would be leaving Fitness Ridge with a determination to change my life for the better. Since this time I was determined I could not fail. I would take it one small step at a time. Focusing first on making the healthy food choices that I have learned and become accustomed to eating here. Each small step would be a win for me and I will celebrate every single win. Each step I take, no matter how small, is still a step toward my goal.

I felt awesome! I was doing this!

Today's hike was called West Canyon. I was looking forward to it because it is another go at your own pace kind of hike. I would use the hike to reflect on my life and the choices that have lead me to where I am. As I was walking I felt myself start to think negative thoughts about bringing up the rear. I should have been able to keep up with the others, but I was not. I knew there was a bathroom at about 1 1/2 miles in and it had been an hour already and I had not reached the bathroom as of yet. I was starting to feel like a failure, like I should just stop, turn around, and go back to the van. Then out of nowhere this older gentleman came jogging down the path wearing  an iron man shirt (like iron man the triathlon, not the comic book iron man). He waved at me and must have noticed my distraught look because as he passed me he said, "You're doing great! Keep it up! You can do this!" Then he was gone. He was jogging after all and I was walking. That just just the pick me up I needed. It seemed to put a pep in my step and I picked up my pace. It was then that I rounded the bend and noticed that the bathrooms were right there. I still had time so I kept going with a faster pace than before. I could do this. I WAS DOING IT! I got further on the path and by 9:15 AM it was time to turn around and head back to the van. I took a few pictures and turned around. It took me an hour to get to where I turned around, but it only took me 45 minutes to get back to the van. I was energized. I got this.

After the hike there were no lectures to attend. Just the Last Chance Workout. It was a hard one, but none of the workouts this week had been as bad as I had expected. I really thought that I would be pushed until I threw up and then pushed some more. They were nowhere near that hard, but they were still hard. Although I felt myself getting stronger and I was looking forward to tomorrow mornings weight in. I knew I had made progress even if it did not show up on the scale. I had found myself again and I was feeling very optimistic about my new lifestyle. After Last Chance Workout and lunch was graduation. That was nice. There was a DVD made that was shown of different classes and such throughout the week as well as pictures that the trail guides had taken of us on the hikes. It made me sad knowing that I was going home. I would miss Mrs. Purple the most. She is an amazing person and I look forward to staying in touch with her. After graduation was dinner and it was amazing, like all the other food I had been served this week. I learned that I loved red peppers. Yes I did just say I loved red peppers. I spent the rest of the night talking with Mrs. Purple and some other people and it was nice to just relax and talk to people that had been though everything I had been through. Mrs. Purple thank you for everything, you are amazing!

Friday at BLR Fitness Ridge

I woke up in a great mood today with not nearly as much soreness as I had endured the previous two days. I was getting stronger and I could feel it. It also helped that my mom and little sister drove in from Las Vegas to visit me. I get to play Santa now with the five garbage bags of presents that they put in the back of my car. Today's hike is one called Stop Sign. I was apprehensive about it because it is a paved hike and the pavement seems to aggravate my knee issue. Unfortunately I did not take any pictures of today's hike because I was using my phone as an mp 3 player, and was more focused on moving. Mrs. Purple got out ahead of me again like usual. That was okay because my hike is my hike and I shouldn't be comparing myself to anyone else. As long as I am giving it everything I got then I am good. One of my other hiking buddies, we'll call her Dee, walked with me. If it wasn't for her encouragement and support I never would have got as far as I did. We reached mini stop sign and continued up to Stop Sign. It was starting to get very steep, very quickly. We walked a bit past mini stop sign to a parking lot on the side of the road. There we took a break, drank some water, and ate our protein snacks. This is where we were going to stop and wait for the van to come pick us up. There was no way we could make it all the way up to Stop Sign in the little time we had left to hike. After we rested for a little bit we decided that in the time we had left we would continue walking up the hill and get as far as we could. I would not have made it as far as I did without her. Dee's support was amazing. There were so many people here at the Biggest Loser Resort and it was amazing. Everyone was pushing everyone and offering their support. After the hike I attended more lectures followed by a water aerobics class and a Zumba class. They were both fantastic, but in the end I did something to my ankle during Zumba. It hurt to walk on it. I must have rolled or twisted it hard so I iced and elevated it when I could and during the lectures that I attended. Tonight I am planning on going to bed early and putting ice on my ankle. It needs to feel better for tomorrow's hike and the Last Chance Workout.

Conquering My Fears at Pioneer Names

Pioneer Names

My group completed two hikes today. Johnson's Arch and Pioneer Names in Snow Canyon. After completing Johnson's Arch I was ready for a nap, but determined to complete Pioneer Names since it was supposed to be a small but cool hike. It was basically a walk up to the sandy rock in which a few pioneers climbed up into this alcove and wrote their names on the side of the mountain. The earliest was from 1881.

You can't really see the names but they are there.

Halfway up there! The end of the line for me! This time!

With all the emotional breakthroughs and epiphanies I had yesterday it was time to start working on myself. My intense fear of heights. Once we got up closer to the alcove where these pioneers climbed up and wrote their names. I decided that I could climb up there too. I mean, if people from the 1800's could do it why couldn't I? I was feeling courageous. I GOT THIS! I asked the trail guides if we could climb up there. They said sure if you want to. I wanted to, but I was also filling with dread looking up at it. It was high. Did I really want to climb up there? Yes, actually I did. Even standing there looking up at the sheer face, thinking how could I even get up there? I still wanted to. So I did and it was not an easy feat. I did not even make it up to the alcove, once I got about halfway I was to scared to get all the way up there. More so because I was not sure how I would be able to get down. Mrs. Purple was there cheering me on the whole time ad well as the rest of my hiking group. What a difference support makes in times like these. I got up there and Mrs. Purple just kept telling me how courageous I was being and how proud she was of me. That made me feel like I could conquer anything. Now if only I could get down. It was too steep to walk down since I had practically climbed up there. The only option was to slide down the rock on my rear, without ripping my pants open. I felt so proud of myself. It was amazing! I can do anything! I felt like I could take on the world. It was one small step for mankind! HA HA! Yes, I did just equate my fear conquering to the United States landing on the moon. It was that big of a deal to me. I plan to make it back to Snow Canyon possibly this summer to see if I can climb up to the alcove. That is one more entry that I have added to my bucket list. Conquering my fear of heights by making it up to the alcove where the pioneers wrote their names. I just need to keep up with my healthy lifestyle changes and I will get there. Eventually. That is all that matters. I can do this! I will one day not be afraid of heights. I will get all the way up there. One day.

Sliding down the rock on my behind.

Over the Hump Day Hikes, Thursday at BLR Fitness Ridge

This morning my hike group was going to conquer not one, but two smaller hikes today. Joy... I was feeling especially like crap and now I had two hikes to endure? yay... not! :) At least I was not feeling like I had been run over by a convoy of semi-trucks today. I officially made it past hump day, to live another day. The first hike up was to the beautiful Johnson's Arch.

Johnson's Arc

The hike was flat and sandy, until we reached the lava. That was slippery, pointy, and everything you would expect from walking up and down where molten lava engulfed the landscape. It was treacherous, especially since I was still sore, worn down, and not feeling 100%. We hiked up and down, climbed over rocks, navigated previously fallen boulders from the mountains above. Suddenly there we were, looking up at this amazing arch. That was easy. I was ready for more. Still ever so sore, but I had gained this sense of being able to accomplish anything, if i put in some effort. I felt like I was starting to find myself again. It was an awesome feeling.

I was glad to have the support of my hiking group. My new found friend Mrs. Purple really helped me get through this hike. There was an area that was quite high up and I am very much afraid of heights. Almost as much as I am afraid of spiders. Although my son is also afraid of spiders and I have been known to be brave enough to kill spiders for him. Now if he is wearing shoes he will sometimes take care of the spiders himself, sometimes. Anyways, back to the subject. I was feeling especially low, sore, and tired on this hike and Mrs. Purple's bright and shiny attitude really helped lift my spirits. We completed this hike together, with our group and the felling of support was overwhelming. These people that have only known me for a short time, really care about me, and want me to succeed. They pushed me when I had no push left in me. It was amazing! Mrs. Purple, you know who you are, thank you for your love and support. I wouldn't have been able to get though this hike today without you.

Hump Day at Fitness Ridge

My wake up call this morning worked! I begrudgingly made it to the 6 AM Stretch Class. Boy was I sore this morning! I felt like I had been run over by a convoy of semi-trucks and desperately needed coffee. Have I mentioned yet that the resort is caffeine free? Probably not, I cursed the world and wished for nothing more than food and a hot cup of Joe to get me through my day. I settled for a hot cup of Chai Spiced tea that was hardly the substitute I wanted, but it worked nonetheless.

I was so looking forward to the lectures that were on the schedule today. It was going to be a day of self-awareness. The lectures also looked appealing today because of how sore I was. Every step I took, I was crying on the inside. If I thought I wanted to give up on Monday, I was wrong. Stretch class helped loosen some of my screaming muscles, but I still wanted to crawl back into my bed and sleep it off. Today would really kill me. Kickboxing this afternoon was not sounding fun at all.

Breakfast was amazing as usual. The food here is seriously delicious. It is amazing how full you can feel when you are eating all the right things. Food will be part of my focus when I get home, even if I do not continue working out right away. I have to get my food right. The rest will follow. Today's hike is Three Ponds in Snow Canyon. The description this morning said lots of sand and some residual snow. Great. When I arrived at the van Mrs. Purple was there waiting for me. Looks like we get our own personal trail guides since it was just the two of us. 

Snow Canyon

Snow Canyon was beautiful again. I was starting to look forward to the daily hikes. There was something so peaceful and invigorating about being out in nature with your own thoughts. Its a good chance to clear your head and think about things that a hectic life does not allow you to do. The soreness I was feeling was exacerbated by hiking through sand and snow. They are not very forgiving mediums to walk on since they tend to move under your feet at every step. If it wasn't so cold, I would have removed my socks and shoes to enjoy the feeling of warm sand under my feet. That is not a feeling you get much of a chance to have here in the desert state of Utah. I suppose you could get a similar feeling by walking on the salt flats of the Great Salt Lake, but why would anyone do that. It doesn't sound appealing at all.

Here I was trudging away though the sand, bringing up the rear. Again. This is something I was becoming okay with. I may not be moving as fast as the trail guides, or even Mrs. Purple, but I was moving nonetheless. Movement is what counts. No matter how slow I go, I am still lapping everyone on the couch. As I was maneuvering through the sandy terrain I noticed that Mrs. Purple had stopped. I assumed it was to take some pictures, wait for me, or a snack time. She had actually stopped because we had reached Three Ponds, already. The more hiking I have been doing the easier it is becoming. I guess practice does make perfect. At risk of sounding like a broken record; it was beautiful. I stood there looking at it in awe.

Three Ponds

After the hike I was feeling good. Sore, but good. Must be all the endorphins from exercising that I have been hearing so much about. Today all the lectures were based on emotional health and emotional eating. Something I definitely need help with. I have come to terms recently that I am a very emotional eater. I need these set of lectures more than I need working out because they are addressing the root of my weight problem. I could always work out at home. If I don't fix my emotional issues then I can never truly get a grasp on my true reasons for weight loss. I am so glad I did attend those lectures today. I learned so much. Some of it was information that I already knew, but some of it was new ideas that were presented brilliantly. I took my anger, at myself, out on kickboxing class. Man, did that feel good. I decided that I would stop making excuses for everything in my life and start holding myself accountable. I can control myself and I needed to make changes in my life for my own sake. I was worth it. With every punch and kick I let another excuse go. Excuse, after excuse, after excuse. I need to get me back. The best me I can be. It all starts here. I go to bed tonight sore, exhausted, and determined. I got this! 

Tuesday at BLR Fitness Ridge

Red Hills Covered in Snow

I learned something useful today. Wake up calls do not roll over for the length of your stay. I did not even think of calling to set up another one and apparently I turned off my cell phone alarm in my sleep. Luckily I woke up at 7:15 AM and was able to make it to the dinning hall for breakfast before embarking on a hike called Red Hills. Although I had just woken up, I was excited for this hike because they placed everyone in groups with like abilities. These people would be my hike group for the next five days, and I was looking forward to being in a group that I could keep up with at least most of the time. Amid all my excitement there was also fear. The hike and workouts yesterday left me sore in muscles I did not know I had, especially in my right hip flexor. Since I slept in this morning, I missed out on the 6 AM stretch class and I was apprehensive about the hike due to the unknown terrain that lies ahead.

I really wished I wouldn't have missed stretch class, oh well, not much I could do about it at that point. I stretched out my hip flexor and just decided to take the hike slow until my muscles felt warmed up. We loaded up in the van and headed off to our destination the Red Hills.

Looking over St. George

The terrain looked less menacing than Monday's hike and I took it slow again. I was with a group of people that apparently had similar abilities to my own I was still bringing up the rear; at least at first. Once the terrain was less slopping sand and more red rock stepping I was able to catch up with one lady in my group. I'll call her Mrs. Purple, since that is the only color she was predominately wearing. Well Mrs. Purple and I got to talking while we were navigating the terrain with the help of one of the trail guides. She is a neat lady, let me tell ya. So optimistic and loud, and she had this infectious laughter. We clicked right away and I knew we would be fast friends even though she was staying at  the BLR for an entire month past my one week departure. The hike and the support was amazing. Today was starting to look up. The hike was amazingly invigorating and the views over St. George was breathtaking.

The view of St. George

After the hike we had the option to attend a Life Coaching Class, circuit training, or a stretch class. I chose to attend the Life Coach Class partly because I was sore and knew I had First Chance Workout and a water aerobics class later. The other reason I chose the class is because I knew this was not something I could do once I returned to my real life. I could workout when I was at home, but I could not get the life coaching information I really needed to make the changes in my life and make everything I learn here this week stick. If I was really going to change my lifestyle I needed to work on the emotional side. This was the side of weight loss that I had never tried to deal with. This is what caused me to fail to reach my goals. I was sabotaging myself, my life, and my efforts. I could no longer use excuses, I could not blame my circumstances on anyone but myself. It was only me standing in my own way of success. What was I so afraid of?

After lunch the rest of the day was kind of uneventful. I mean, first chance workout turned out to be much less intimidating than I had anticipated. I think I just expected to be pushed with a much higher intensity for a much longer period of time. Don't get me wrong; it was in no means easy. Once I was doing it, that was just it. I WAS DOING IT! That and  the water class I had to look forward to attending after Recharge. The night ended with me soaking my feet with Epsom salts and going to bed early. After I set my wake up call for Wednesday morning.

Monday at BLR Fitness Ridge

       This morning started way to early! Even with my college classes I never was up at 5:30 AM on purpose!!! I was up this early thanks to a wake up call and the hotel room phone being across the room. I may have to remember that one, I guess after you are out of your warm bed there is no use in getting back in it. I threw on my workout clothes, drank my water, and headed to my 6 AM stretch class. Stretch class was a heck of alot harder than it sounded. I was struggling and sweating and I felt like I was the only one who couldn't do everything that was being asked of me without some sort of modification. It was mortifying and I felt like everyone else was staring at me. Ugh! Why am I so hard and judgmental of my own capabilities or down falls.

The Gorgeous Red Rocks

After stretch was breakfast at 7 AM and then my first hike at 8 AM. I was so worried for the hike and it was hard. Especially because it was an assessment hike so we were just thrown into vans and taken on hikes at random. I brought up the tail end. My group went on a hike called Turtle Wall it was completely gorgeous, but it was very heart-wrenching. I was the last one, the slow one, the incapable one. There was one point that I wished I fell and broke my arm so I could go home because it was "that" hard and I felt like I could not do it. I felt so deflated and defeated. There were people older than me on the same hike and I could not even see them anymore. It was during this hike that I stared questioning me even being there. Why did I come? I can't do this. It was dumb of me to think I could do this.

The trail guide that helped motivate me.

 Then I had an epiphany! I WAS doing this! I CAN do this! Even though I was totally slower than everyone else I was completing it. I was not giving up. I was talking to one of the guides and he assured me that I was doing a good job. The hick they put me on was a little advanced, but I was doing it. I would only stop and rest when I felt that I needed it and the guide pointed out a few cool rock formations and wildlife that I would have completely missed because I was looking at my feet and having a pity party. I even though about writing a blog post just for the hike and titling it "Pity Party, Table for One". How lame am I? I needed to get over myself. I was blessed to win this contest and here I was wishing it away. Perhaps this was really a blessing in disguise. Maybe I won this opportunity because I had something that I needed to learn from this amazing experience to become a better me.

The Overlook

 It was when I started focusing on myself, my journey, and my accomplishments that I realized I had made it. In one hour of trudging along across the frozen red clay and rock formations, I had reached to overlook and its breathtaking beauty was amazing. I felt a sense of pride that I had not given up or broken my arm. Here I was, hiking, and I was doing it well. Once we reached the overlook it was time to turn around and I was suddenly filled with dread. You mean I have to walk all the way back to the van? That one more hour I would spend relentlessly hiking back to my destination. Again I was filled with all those emotions and feelings of worthlessness. I could never make it back there alive. I know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I really thought it would kill me and at this point I had more workout classes to attend after lunch. I could still break my arm couldn't I? Snap out of it Krystyn! You made it this far, you can make it back to the van, and I did! On the ride back to the ranch I was thinking about the hike and realized that I did do it! I accomplished something real a two hour hike and was still alive. I felt invigorated and ready to take on whatever the rest of the day had for me, and I could accomplish it. Must be all the endorphins in my system.

After the hike I attended an introductory lecture that was very informative followed by lunch. After lunch I attended a 45 minute Medicine Ball Core workout and the hike seemed like nothing compared to this class. My core was on fire. I tried to complete everything requested of me, but like stretch class this morning I had to do some modifications based on my current fitness level and my mood of not wanting to push myself to hard on the first day. I couldn't risk getting injured now even though I felt like I was going to die, figuratively. Luckily for me 45 minutes goes by much faster when you are thinking about other things, and I only had to make it through this class until recharge (snack time). During recharge I had an awesome protein shake that made me feel awesome. That stuff was like magic. Then it was off to 45 minutes of circuit training.

Circuit training. Just the name alone sounded completely menacing. However, once I started the class it was much easier then I had anticipated. Two minutes of cardio, followed by two minutes on a strength machine. Repeat, only on different cardio machines and strength machines each time. I actually enjoyed it and this made me focus and I felt like I was able to push myself harder. The trainer kept saying, "What can you do in two minutes to change your life?" This really stuck with me. What could I do to change my life and my body? Circuit training was my last workout class of the day, I had to push harder. I could push myself harder! I gave it all I could and in the end I felt like keeling over right there, but I didn't! Nothing could stop me now. At least until I woke up and did everything all over again.

Biggest Loser Resort

I won a contest from KSL Studio 5 to stay at The Biggest Loser Resort for one week. I just arrived and weighed in at 292.5 so even though I haven't weighed in in almost a month my weight did not creep up on me. Thats a non scale victory for sure!! I will be posting more of my struggles and victories throughout the week!! Here is to a healthier me!!!